The Mind's Power Over the Heart in Forgiveness

Forgiveness is not primarily a feeling—it is a choice your mind makes about where to place your attention. When someone hurts you, the wound is real, and anger or hurt may arise in your heart without your permission. But the Alter Rebbe teaches that the mind rules the heart by its innate nature. You can choose to withdraw your focus from the injury and direct it instead toward the person's humanity, toward the possibility of change, toward justice tempered with kindness. This is not denial of harm. It is the exercise of your rational will over your emotional reaction. A little light dispels much darkness: one deliberate act of turning your mind toward mercy, even small, begins to dissolve the darkness the offense cast. Forgiveness grows not from waiting until you feel ready, but from deciding, with your mind, to let the injury no longer rule your conduct toward that person.